Goofus Haynes talks to Northland Baptist Bible College’s counselor approximately an rage problem. The counselor gets to the foot of the rage problem, allowing Goofus to delight in life again (a 3Men student body production).
Posts Tagged ‘counseling’
Goofus – Episode 4 – Anger Management Counseling
March 4th, 2010 
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Tags: anger, counseling, episode, Goofus, management 
No Comments »From Algonquin, IL: Should I Seek Counseling?
January 21st, 2010 admin Sometimes you may need to conversation to someone who can assist…an expert. When you feel like you have hit a brick wall… When you feel trapped, overwhelmed with nowhere to turn…
When you worry all the time, and never seem to find the answer… When your anxiety affects your sleep, eating habits, job, your relationships, concentration or everyday life… When even the advice offered by family or well-meaning friends does not really assist you feel any better.
Getting professional assist is the vital initial step in getting the anxiety relief or goal attainment you may seek. Counseling can be of genuine benefit, providing assist for a wide range of problems such as depression, despair, marital strife, parent-child conflicts, or excessive stress.
It can too assist fulfill aspirations for personal development, self-actualization and self-improvement. Counseling has one goal only: That something positive and meaningful will result.
Some of the maximum common reasons for seeking therapy include:
Emotional Distress
From time to time, we all experience anxiety or stress. But sometimes it can be particularly severe or long-lasting . It may interfere with your functioning in daily life. Whether your sadness, grief, or anxiety is particularly persistent, therapy can assist relieve the symptoms, address the underlying causes, and provide you with assist in restoring emotional well-being.
Growth and Development
Therapy can assist you overcome obstacles that have interfered with your ability to reach your goals. Counseling can assist you learn more approximately yourself, as well as others, and how you can live your life with greater satisfaction.
Relationships
Distress commonly comes from dysfunctions in relating to spouses, parents, kids, co-workers or other relatives.
Therapy can assist you to know the root of the problem and provide you with the understanding and skills needed to generate that feeling of closeness again.
Coping Mechanisms
Sometimes emotional or relationship problems are associated with destitute or impaired coping skills, such as denial, destitute communication, excessive passivity, or destitute rage management.
Loss
Experiencing the loss of someone who is vital through death, divorce or separation often results in intense depression or anxiety and therapy can be effective in eliminating it.
Trauma, Violence or Abuse
Victims of trauma or abuse often become so overwhelmed by feelings of dread, anxiety, or hopelessness that their ability to operate becomes seriously impaired. Counseling provides a secure and confidential way to discuss these issues with an expert in order to memorize ways to go forward.
Depression, ADHD, Anxiety
Those who experience these issues can often benefit from therapy and another treatment method, such as medication. Importantly, recent studies demonstrate that individuals with ADHD, major depression or anxiety symptoms benefit much more from a combination of counseling and medication than from the use of drugs alone.
Diet Counseling
January 19th, 2010 admin When I started researching diet counseling, I learned the usual kinds of research, which evaluated the benefit of face to face educational interventions for reducing heart sickness and/or stroke for example.
The interventions were typically done with folks who already had a chronic health issue, and I don’t reckon that kind of diet counseling provided any information that would inspire the searchers who find me to make a alter, and then I stumbled across the concept of a polymeal which really intrigued me, particularly the portion approximately dove dark chocolate (not milk chocolate) being portion of the polymeal, because of the tall amounts of flavanoids contained therein.
The concept of a polymeal is something I could get my teeth into, because I have long taught my rage management folks approximately the connection between food allergies and low blood sugar and violence, and the folks currently writing approximately brain fitness emphazize nutrition as the moment maximum vital brain fitness pillar.
Excellent nutrition, including lots of antioxidants is very vital to the neurogenesis (or growth of modern brain cells), and neuroplasticity, which is the effective rewiring of the brain which happens every time I learn something modern, oftentimes within minutes.
Both the polymeal advocates and the brain fitness folks report that fish is an vital ingredient, for the inclusion of omega 3 fatty acid.
It turns out that our neurons are sheathed in a membrane that is approximately 60% omega 3 fatty acid, which needs to be replaced.
Whether not replaced the membrane gets brittle and communication between neurons becomes garbled and our behavior starts to see disoriented and confused, according to the authors of Brainfit for Life, Simon Evans,Ph.D. and Paul Burghardt,Ph.D. who are neuroscientists at the University of Michigan.
What is a Polymeal?
The polymeal diet was made as a palatable and tasty way to keep your heart healthy. Daily consumption of a polymeal could cut your risk of heart sickness by 76%!
The polypill, which combined six different medications, was studied in 2003. Research showed that whether the polypill was given to everyone 55 years ancient and up 88% of heart attacks and 80% of strokes would be prevented. Sounds like a brilliant thought, right? Well, some people weren’t so thrilled with it, given some of the side effects of long term drug use.
Dr. Oscar H. Franco was inspired to make an alternative to the polypill that could provide similar benefits through dietary changes alone, and the polymeal was born.
The term “polymeal” is a bit misleading, though. Many people assume that you must eat all of the ingredients in one meal and feel that would be too limiting. The thought is to eat these foods everyday. Fitting them into one meal is brilliant whether you can manage it. Spreading them out throughout the day is brilliant too, and likely simpler for maximum people to do on a daily basis.
What’s in a Polymeal?
Consume these ingredients on a regular basis, and you could extend your life by up to six years.
* 5 ounces ruddy wine * 3 ounces fish (4 times a week) * 3-4 ounces dark chocolate * 14 ounces fruits & vegetables * 2-3 ounces almonds * 1 clove garlic
In addition to the following health benefits, the polymeal, when substituted for the polypill, will allow you to avoid uncomfortable or potentially perilous side effects of long term drug use.
Regular consumption of the polymeal can:
* Reduce heart sickness by 76%, including heart attack and stroke. * Extend your life by nearly 7 years for men, and 5 years for women. * Delay the onset of cardiovascular sickness by 9 years for men, and 8 years for women. * Reduce blood pressure * Reduce terrible cholesterol levels
Polymeal Recipes
What Does Your Wife Say Approximately That Much Garlic?
While I like the thought of diet counseling and the polymeal, I ran it past my wife yesterday, and she immediately turned up her nose at the thought of that much garlic daily, and I am allergic to ethyl alcohol, so I cannot have the ruddy wine.
But I can have include the almonds straight absent and the dark chocolate, and I can certainly include more fruit.
I already eat a honest quantity of the vegetables, but could use more fruit, which I like to place in smoothies?
Amazement whether you could blend dark chocolate with a smoothie? Probably not.
The Role of Diet Counseling in Brain Fitness
In Brainfit for Life Evans and Burghardt address the role of dietary counseling and brain fitness from the stand point of micro- and macro nutrients, with lots of attention to omega 3 fatty acid and antioxidants, which assist the brain do what it does best, grow modern brain cells and rewire itself as we learn modern materials.
That learning is generally the learning that we do when we learn a modern language, or we learn a modern musical instrument, or we use one of the modern computerized brain fitness programs like the Posit Science Brain Fitness Program, recently place to the research test in the IMPACT study on 520 or so Senior Citizens, with brilliant results, or we use the Mind Sparke Brain Fitness Pro, which increases IQ. You really have to see the research on that, so check out the links below, and you (or your kids) can work on increased IQ right at your computer.
And the Lumosity program is a brilliant way to build brain fitness challenges into your daily schedule for brief periods of time. I like to do Lumosity breaks to switch gears and refresh my brain for a ten minute or so period when I start to get fatigued.
And then I have some almonds and Dove dark chocolate.
From Cary and Crystal Lake, IL: How Anger Destroys Families and How Counseling Can Help
January 13th, 2010 admin The strongest contributor to individual character development is the family unit. You may have spent years trying to alter, eliminate, or imitate the influence of certain members of your family unit-consciously or unconsciously.
Consequently, whether rage is portion of your familys culture, you have probably noticed that it tends to spread itself to future generations. The wider it has spread, the more tough it is to contain.
Take a see at the way members of your family relate with one another. Is there a hurtful and biting rage present? Recollect, our earliest experiences communicating, problem-solving and relating to others occurs within our nuclear family. Unfortunately, patterns of rage in these relationships are then recreated in later relationships and subsequent family systems.
Fortunately, counseling and an expert treatment plot can eliminate the hurt of having lived in an insane or abusive family unit.
How Dysfunctional Rage Destroys Relationships
Rage is a very common destroyer of relationships. Couples, but, often underestimate or minimize its impact by sometimes reporting that it is this rage that makes the relationship feel lively. A very perilous notion.
How does irrational rage start? It grows in relationships which are insecure and where open communication is absent. The emotion of like then becomes buried beneath years and years of hostility and resentment. In these relationships, helplessness often exists in the present and anxiety and dread overwhelm thoughts approximately the future.
The news is not all terrible, but. The excellent news is that whether you are motivated to take portion in marital or family therapy you can be rewarded with modern optimism and hope.
The following are tips on how to limit destructive rage in your relationships:
1. When you feel insane, mentally evaluate your feelings. Question yourself whether you are over-reacting or jumping to conclusions.
2. Particularly, whether you have nothing to lose, start by giving others the benefit of the doubt. Question yourself whether you have taken something too personally or over-reacted.
3. Go to higher ground; get a broader perspective. When you feel resentment building, conversation your feelings over with a loved one and get additional feedback.
4. Whether certain relationships are repeatedly fraught with rage, assess whether or not you should stay in them.
5. Whether your rage feels out of control and/or mysterious and particularly, whether the relationship is vital, consider family or relationship counseling.
How Do I Know Whether a Family Member Has an Rage Problem?
Maximum of the time insane individuals are aware that they have problems controlling rage. Unfortunately, many of them come to accept that their rage is unchangeable, a fixed aspect of their personality and feel hopeless to to do anything approximately it. Whether you amazement whether you or a loved one may have an rage problem, see for several of the following symptoms:
1. Fitting inappropriately insane in response to mild frustration or irritation.
2. Experiencing painful feelings of guilt or regret over something that you have said or done in a fit of rage.
3. The existence of repeated interpersonal conflicts that result from insane outbursts (legal problems, arguments, hurt to property, school or work suspensions, etc.)
4. Family and/or friends approaching or appealing to you to control your rage.
5. Having chronic physical symptoms which are generated or exacerbated by too much rage, such as tall blood pressure, gastrointestinal difficulties etc.
Where do I Seek Assist for an Rage Problem?
Mental health professionals are very responsive to those who seek treatment for rage dysfunction. Referrals to treatment professionals and services are available through The American Psychological Organization, The American Counseling Organization and The National Organization of Social Workers.
You may feel shame or guilt approximately your rage issues and these problems can really alter the lives of you and your loved ones, for the worst. Therefore, it is critical to refer to with a counseling or mental health professional who has many years of experience in rage management training.
What Kind of Treatments are Available for My Rage Chaos?
The maximum common approaches to rage management problems include the use of individual and family therapies. These therapies assist one to become aware of specific triggers and thinking processes which lead to chronic rage and demonstrate how to reckon productively, rather than irrationally.
Individual Therapy
Individual therapy explores the root of insane feelings and behavior in a counseling format that includes only one client. This counseling approach helps the individual to focus on the maximum vital emotions causing his or her excessive rage.
Family Therapy
Family therapy is a powerful and comprehensive way of repairing the hurt caused by longer-term expressions of hurtful rage. Chronic rage commonly alienates family members from each other, resulting in strained communication. It can too cause members to be overly involved with one another in a very dysfunctional way.
Family therapy considers each members role in the dysfunction rather than fair pinpointing one person.
How Marriage and Family Therapy Assist
Marriage and family therapists, psychologists and mental health counselors are trained in how to identify rage patterns that pass from generation to generation. Identifying these patterns through counseling helps each client to explore his or her perceptions, prejudices and misunderstandings approximately the appropriateness of certain types of rage.
For example, when parents reflect on how emotions were expressed in their nuclear families, subsequent family members start to know the family’s inherited concepts approximately rage and how to right them.
Posted in Anger Management Tips Tags: anger, Cary, counseling, Crystal, Destroys, Families, From, Help, Lake No Comments »Parenting Counseling
January 12th, 2010 admin Parenting counseling, what does that mean? I am a parent, a late life parent, which has its own built in wisdom and deficiencies when the kids are nearly 11 and fair turned 5.
I find myself routinely looking back to my own childhood and remembering behaviors that I demonstrated, and my parents response to those behaviors, to assess how powerful my response should be to the behaviors of my kids, when I am alarmed approximately something they say or do, and that, according to Marcy Axness, Ph.D., is what parenting counseling is approximately, us making sense of our childhood experience so that we can guide our children.
But we know nowadays that attachment plays a enormous portion in the brain development of our children, and a secure attachment can be attended to, guided, enhanced so that our children delight in secure relationships as adults.
So I want to study up on what makes attachment happen in relationship with children.
My reading of Allen Schore’s work says that attachment is visual and is communicated when the children are youthful through the eyes and voice and touch, when I smile they smile and vice versa, and that there may be as many as 20 contacts like that per minute when an infant needs them.
The infant will too sign when they are over stimulated by breaking off eye contact.
So how do we sustain healthy attachment through the inevitable behavioral issues which will occur with our kids as they grow up, how do I deliver consequences for planned transgressions from my parenting system rather than an emotional place, a place that teaches but does not abuse.
Of course, it takes thousands of those small, rapid, fond contacts to ensure a secure attachment, but only one perception of serious threat to alter a child’s brain forever, so how do I parent from a place of emotional regulation?
Perhaps the maximum vital thing that I have learned approximately attachment is the role of the father in regulating aggression.
Dad’s, in their play with children, are supposed to assist them know the limits of arousal, how to go up and down the arousal ladder so that no one gets hurt, particularly with the boys who have a greater aggressive endowment, and everyone has fun, so the key for me in terms of parenting is to memorize how to regulate my own arousal, so I am communicating to my children that their consequences are serious but they are not perceiving that they are going to die soon.
It is their perception that changes their brain.
I have used many tools to practice appropriate internal self-regulation. The cheapest and quickest is deep breathing, a breath in for three counts, hold for three, and then exhale for a count of three, repeated three times.
Perhaps I will need to do more repetitions to cool down.
But my culture has taught me to breath shallowly in my chest which keeps me dripping a small adrenalin into the system, and sometimes I am caught unprepared by the intensity of my response to a callous kiddie crime, a child kicking a kitten, or intentionally refusing to follow the rules of the household, and at that point I use another tool, heart rate variability biofeedback, which cues a cooler physiology and allows me to access my heart’s affiliative and cooperative intelligence.
Parenting Counseling With The Heart
HeartMath, which I have used personally and professionally for approximately 8 years, teaches me how to cue a coherent heart beat on demand, which makes it an extraordinary tool to use in the moment of tall arousal to alter my physiology back to a physiology of appreciation and cooperativenss so I deliver a consequence which teaches and does not hurt attachment.
And that process does take practice, and you do not have to be perfect.
Whether you parent from a place of threat, intimidation, or contempt, you can repair that with your child at a moment when you both are cooler.
There are a enormous number of benefits to learning to regulate your arousal, using heart rate variability biofeedback which is very certainly a mindfulness tool. Two major benefits of lower arousal are increased neurogenesis and neuroplasticity.
Neuroplasticity and neurogenesis are capacities of the human brain which can be enhanced and which were unknown until a decade or so ago.
Neurogenesis is the growth of modern brain cells on a daily basis which happens when I take care of my brain fitness.
I am 61 and need modern brain cells to track my children’s behavior and whereabouts.
You know what kills modern brain cells? Stress hormones. This is where it really pays to know heart rate variability biofeedback because when I am excellent at that I can keep the interior of my body bathed in the hormone DHEA, instead of adrenaline and cortisol. DHEA is very helpful in keeping those modern neurons headed out to the brain structures where they are needed.
Whether you are curious approximately this brain fitness phenomenom, please peruse Brainfit for Life where you will get a clear picture of the pillars of brain fitness, physical exercise, nutrition, sleep, stress management, and novel learning experiences.
Neuroplasticity is what neurons do when they are learning approximately modern things, they connect with other neurons, and whether those circuits are used regularly, your brain will keep the circuit which is insurance against alzheimers.
Both neurogenesis and neuroplasticity are enhanced by doing stress management the heart rate variability biofeedback way.
Anger Counseling
January 4th, 2010 admin Rage counseling is a many splendored beast. Ever heard that ancient AA phrase or acronym HALT, for example? The acronym means that we are at greater risk for relapse when we are hungry, insane, lonely, or tired.
Starvation, loneliness, fatigue, closed head injury, ADD, ADHD, family of origin, addiction and recovery, grief, forgiveness and reconciliation, automatic negative thoughts, stress, our response to facial expressions, all can play a portion in the emotional experience of rage.
We are supposed to have rage by the way, it is the energy we use to solve problems. And it is too a secondary emotion, generally following another emotion like hurt or shame.
But, whether we use rage to justify violence I reckon we subvert the purpose of our emotions.
The one thing that no other rage management program that I am aware of talks approximately is the speed of the Central Nervous System (CNS).
Mihalyi Csikszentmihalyi,Ph.D., author to the book FLOW written in 1993, estimates that the CNS processes packets of non-verbal communication consisting of seven bits of data per package every 1/18th moment.
That is 2x as rapid as I can blink my eyes, which takes 1/10th moment.
So you have to have your rage counseling tools in a place where they can be recalled very quickly.
Paul Ekman,Ph.D. who has worked for decades to develop a systematic catalog of human facial expressions says that all humans no matter what culture they are from, respond to a see of contempt in 1/25th moment, and what that means is generally first hurt, then rage.
Any of you who are parents can recollect how you felt when your children looked at you with a see of contempt. Even the memory of that see can bring back the hurt/rage emotions.
Michael Merzenich,Ph.D. of the Posit Science Brain Fitness Program says that Senior drivers need to prepare for changing road conditions in 1/45th moment, which is approximately 4.5 times as rapid as I can blink my eyes.
I too like to assist folks in rage counseling know that their internal chemistry or hormones alter with each thought they have, and that we as human beings have on average approximately 200 thoughts per day which alter our chemistry toward irritation and that we need to be prepared to name our feelings, their intensity, and to make some decisions approximately changing them much more frequently and much quicker than perhaps we thought we did.
Sounds like mindfulness, doesn’t it?
Mindfulness, or awareness of what I am feeling coupled with deep breathing gives me a powerful tool to cool down whether I am getting to hot.
John Gottman,Ph.D. and his wife, Julie Schwartze-Gottman conversation approximately something they call Diffuse Physiological Arousal, or PDA, in their brilliant workshop called The Art and Science of Like, which is for couples.
Their antidote for the awareness or mindfulness issue around powerful feelings?
Take your pulse, and whether it is over 100 beats per minute, take at minimum 20 minutes, particularly for men, to cool down. Repeat that process as often as necessary.
Another tool that I educate for the awareness and mindfulness aspect of rage counseling in a biofeedback tool, called HeartMath, which trains the ability to regulate the time between heart beats.
When you learn Heartmath, you can feel excellent on demand, on any given heart beat. Your heart beat is really a small slower than your CNS, but it is a much shorter intervention time than maximum of us are used to.
Heartmath is based on research in the recently learned field of neurocardiology, which is the study of the heart’s own nervous system. The heart sends a brilliant deal of data to the brain approximately how we are feeling, much more than the brain sends to the heart, and the heart’s brain is an affiliative and cooperative brain, which is excellent brain to use in dealing stress.
Heartmath works for your golf score and your brain fitness too.
Rage counseling involving Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy (REBT) or Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) will involve recognition of automatic negative thoughts and disputing them in the case of REBT or making a flow chart of evidence supporting your hot thought and evidence contradicting your hot thought in the case of CBT.
Once again, awareness will be a key piece of the rage counseling puzzle, but this time of thoughts, not fair physiology or pulse.
When I do my rage management workshops, I frequently educate the Karpman drama triangle, or victim-rescuer-persecutor tool, and I educate approximately the grieving process using the Kubler-Ross model of grieving which includes a frequent movement between sadness and rage during the non-linear grieving process.
It is incredible to me that our culture teaches the grief process so poorly.
So many of my clients have a life time of ungrieved losses and perceived abandonments which impact their ability to believe, and whether their CNS is overwhelmed by the physiology associated with a memory, their body may be moving before they can reckon approximately taking a pulse.
PTSD fits in this category, along with family of origin issues like physical abuse or child abuse or even witnessing violence.
Rage counseling always involves accountability, and to educate that I routinely question my clients where they see me, and maximum of them are flummoxed by my question until I clarify that they see me in their visual cortex, hear me in Broca’s area, feel the chair they are sitting on in the sensory motor cortex, scent in the limbic brain, ect.
In other words, their entire experience of life is interior their head, and their thought approximately that sensory experience is what brings the feelings, and we know that thought happens really rapid.
No one can make me insane, my thought approximately things is what makes me insane.
Maximum of my clients have a hot spot when I call them on this over the course of the workshop, because being accountable moves them out of the very powerful victim spot.
Are their any tools that make your brain more effective for this awareness and choice process?
Yes, a very effective tool to use is taking your pulse.
Whether you find yourself getting excited, halt and take your pulse. Whether your heart rate is over 100 BPM, then take a time out for 20 minutes, which is very vital for the guys.
Or learn to manage your physiology breath by breath by counting your breaths from one to one hundred, focusing only on the in and out of your breathing.
Focusing on the breath will abandon you feeling relieved, aware, attentive, and relaxed.
How do I go about making my husband get counseling or anger management?
December 16th, 2009 admin He’s so mean to our kids and he really needs assist. How and where do I get him to go? I live in Utah, and aside from reporting him, i don’t know what to do?
Will the police assist or am I wasting their time?
Posted in Anger Management for Kids Tags: about, anger, counseling, husband, making, management 10 Comments »
