The only fixed in this ever-changing world is alter itself. So why is there so much stress involved in alter? Our complex world means all of us are impacted by shifts in our industry, economic conditions, politics, social norms and personal circumstances.
The increased use and speed of communication tools including mobile phones, internet, computer software/hardware, social networking websites and web-based applications have made an expectation of immediacy. This can be incredibly stressful for us in managing our time and responsibilities in a world of “quicker, quicker, now” mentality.
There are typically two styles adopted by individuals in dealing with alter. The first person embraces alter proactively and thrives on tackling these issues head on. They like challenging themselves exterior their current consolation zones and overcoming obstacles and barriers. The moment person resists alter at every opportunity. They dig in and resent the changes faced. These individuals yearn for “the excellent ancient days” and hold on tightly to the picture of how things have always been.
So… which fashion are you? An adopter of alter or a resister?
We all know that stress is always associated with alter. In fact, being stressed out even makes it harder to deal with alter. This can often have a profoundly negative impact on our personal and commerce life and impacts on our emotional/mental and physical states.
When faced with a stressful period of dealing with alter, do you:
Take consolation or elude through caffeine, alcohol, drugs, food, shopping or other fixers?
Self sabotage opportunities or relationships through frustration and negative behaviours?
Engage in perilous or tall risk behaviours?
Over/under sleep?
Experience rage outbursts or loss of control?
Belittle, patronise or dominate others around you?
Argue, deny or avoid facts?
Become distant, removed and bored with your circumstances?
Live in the past through “rose coloured glasses”?
These behaviours and coping mechanisms provide temporary relief at best and certainly do nothing positive for you or those around you. These destructive behaviours are ineffective and don’t lead to you developing your personal skills in managing alter.
So what is the first step in coping with alter?
I was told this a few years ago by a ally, and when I reflected on it, it was quite profound. The guy staring back at me in the mirror does hold the key to unlock all the answers.
Acknowledge that alter is inevitable and is always present. Now let that awareness guide you towards a positive attitude. This involves a shift to a positive open mindset from a negative dread-based mindset. Work on your self awareness.
Now you’ve worked on your self awareness, you can now tackle your response to alter. Being able to monitor and modify your response to alter is critical here as we can only control our response to the degree that we can see ourselves clearly sufficient to know our motivations and actions.
It reminds me of the tale of the French Chef who would really lose his cool every night at work resulting in him screaming, swearing and intimidating his kitchen staff. When a colleague dared question him why he behaved in such a way he retorted “What do you expect. I can’t assist it – I’m French.” Of course he couldn’t see that he was responsible for his conduct and his coping mechanism was to blame it on his country of origin.
Use your instincts to identify cues and signs that alter is in the air. These signs may be obvious in some cases. More subtle cues may be unexplained emotional or physical symptoms. In any case, use your instincts to identify that alter may be imminent and make a commitment to roll with it rather than resist.
In the midst of meaningful alter it sometimes may feel that your world is spinning out of control. It rarely is. So attempt and take your mind off-line and remind yourself of the larger picture, conclusion recreation or better outcome ahead. Keep your eye on the grand prize and don’t sweat the small stuff.
Acknowledge that alter is stressful. Negative alter – Losing your job or the death of a loved one - can be overwhelmingly stressful. Positive alter can be too. I recollect starting my first commerce, having our first child and buying our house – while all these events were positive changes for me – they weren’t without stress. So accept and acknowledge this stress is present and be kind to yourself – eat well, sleep sufficient, exercise, allocate some leisure time and encircle yourself with positive people.
Often during a period of alter, individuals (particularly us men!) are reluctant to discuss the stress they’re under as it may appear to described them as feeble and inadequate. Seek out individuals that are confidantes or mentors from your inner sanctum. Letting it out is very healthy for our body and mind and stops the process of internalising this pain.
Whether we can practice living in the moment each day and get better at this incrementally, we enhance our ability to adapt and respond to whatever is happening right now. So focus on what is happening nowadays internally (that you control) and externally (that you respond to).
When we resist alter and chase it absent, all our collective energy goes into our defence mode of doing things the same ancient way within our consolation zone. Embrace the lessons that alter can deliver through greater self awareness, challenging long held beliefs and not holding onto outdated practices.
I wish you success in managing alter in your life!
January 24th, 2010
admin
Posted in
Tags:

